dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
