last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
