Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
