9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The air was thick with penises
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
