um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
