Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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