Im at strip club and am horny
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
