You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize