U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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