hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
