I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
