You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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