Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
