I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize