wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I would ride that face into the sunset
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
