We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize