I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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