oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
