I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
