i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
