well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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