Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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