i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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