his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't deserve a penis
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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