using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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