Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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