Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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