You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
