Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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