What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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