just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
