his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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