Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
