I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In other news, I just burned my penis
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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