dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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