Screwed.edu
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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