Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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