I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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