i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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