I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
