Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
