yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize