She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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