i permit you to call me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
