ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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