alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
