Jerry, you need to find god
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
