We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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