She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
