I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
