On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
