Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize