I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
