She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
