After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
