I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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