honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
