It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
