Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
