he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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