Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My dick has a subreddit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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