Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
