Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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