rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
