So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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