You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
