Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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