2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
