And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
