I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
