This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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