She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
