I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
