The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
