I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
