Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
