We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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