Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
