3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
