Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize