i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
