Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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